Another college football season is quickly fading into history, and yet, the more things change in college football, the more they remain the same. 

Lloyd Carr and his much maligned, sloth-footed Wolverines, shredded the speedy Gators yesterday and for all the hype we are constantly bombarded with from the major networks (ESPN, CBS Sports and Sports Illustrated) regarding SEC Speed, the conference is a marginal 11-9 this year against the other slow footed, and equally dim witted BCS Conferences.

It is time to fight fire with fire!

The SEC, unbeknownst to many however, is fifty-something and two against the non-BCS, and for the final time, in my opinion, Hawaii was undeserving of the BCS podium, which was painfully obvious after last nights “Bowl-Dawg” attack in New Orleans.

The WAC Conference won three games all year against the BCS, and in one particular win by Hawaii over Washington, the Warriors trailed at one point, 28-7. 

Fresno State nearly defeated three BCS Conference opponents (if not for an ill-timed fumble when a player tried to reach the ball across the goal line in overtime) but a touchback, resulting from a fumble, similar to Oregon’s fumble at home against California, cost the Fresno “challengers” the game. 

Coach Pat Hill’s - “We will play you anyplace, anytime, anywhere” mantra was on full display again this season and he nearly went three-for-four, challenging all BCS comers (yet again), but do you think they will receive any BCS cash in the near future?

Only Oregon, whose team “fell apart,” as ESPN’s Craig James would declare, when quarterback Dennis Dixon tried to play with a torn ACL, outclassed the Bulldogs.

The Conference ended up 3-14 against the super conferences, yet incredibly, Hawaii was voted into the Top-12 after having a strength of schedule factor that was ranked 138th in the nation. 

Given Fresno’s challenging past, and Boise’s miraculous Fiesta last year, the WAC was undeserving of the BCS in my humble opinion.  Missouri and Georgia, or Georgia and Oregon would have been much more intriguing.

Similarly, the networks failed to tell us all year that Michigan was 23-5-1 overall against the SEC and 6-1 specifically in the Carr and BCS era.  The focus of late, of course, has been on the crimson and grey from Ohio, not the maize and blue from Michigan, who are significantly less successful, 0-8 all time against the SEC, even though they continue to dominate the Wolverines in the sweater vest era. 

Did you know that SEC teams are fast?

Boy, how bout’ that SEC speed factor, so dominate was it in the Cotton Bowl, on Tuesday, that a guy named Tony Temple, from the “show me” state, ran for a Cotton Bowl record 281 yards and four touchdowns.

The Razorbacks speed factor on offense was so apparent that those “Cotton Pickin” Arkansas fans, who love their Hogs so much they ran their coach all the way to Mississippi, picked right up where they left off in the Houston Nutt era, bemoaning the ineptness of their predictable offense. 

Let the overzealous griping continue!  Careful what you wish for Bobby Petrino, you just might get it -  in spades.

Missouri, a team who hadn’t been to the Cotton Bowl, or any other major New Years Day Bowl game for that matter, in the last 62 years, overwhelmed the Hogs on offense, defense and special teams.

But the SEC is so special isn’t it?  Arkansas and Missouri are border states, less than a 5 hours drive (like say from Eugene-to-Seattle), and yet the two programs have played only four times in their entire history.

It almost reeks as bad as Texas and Michigan in the 2004 Rose Bowl, since neither program had ever played each other before. 

What stinks you say? 

How about the fact that the two programs (Michigan and Texas), who are among the most storied in the history of college football, each within the Top-5 in total program wins, and yet neither has ventured out of their own comfort zone to schedule each other. 

Doesn’t that just say it all for the BCS in particular and the entire history of college football in general?  Only in college football, unlike any other sport on the planet, can a team be crowned a champion without ever playing anyone of significance across the journey of a season.

Wow, I love the regular season, watching LSU-Tulane, Rutgers - Buffalo, Oklahoma-Tulsa, USC-Idaho and Virginia Tech - William & Mary just makes my hair stand on end!  Gotta pad those pretty records without leaving the comfy confines of home eh?

Nothing like some good ol’ home cookin’ in that regular season playoff.  Gumbo anyone?

What?  We lost our next to last game in the so called regular season playoff?  No worries, the tradition starved teams in front of us better look convincing, how can you question our schedules in the Big-10, Big-12 and SEC.  Every team is a juggernaut in our conference.

Isn’t the BCS grand!  Without it, neither team (Michigan nor Texas) would have ever crossed paths on the gridiron as they say in the SEC, and LSU will win  a championship without ever having to play USC, West Virginia or Missouri. 

If Arkansas can barely beat LSU, and Missouri can kick the bacon out of the Hogs, I’d hate to see what West Virginia could do to both LSU and Ohio State?

Of course, the SEC, Big-12 and Big-10 could have scheduled each other regularly, at anytime, during each season for the past 100 years, but my goodness buddy, we’ve got to get ready for Ohio State, Tennessee or Oklahoma.

Is the BCS  changing this trend? 

Absolutely...NOT!  But boy, that 2004 and 2005 Rose Bowl was something else.  Did we mention that the three southern conferences have taken over the PAC-10’s share of the Rose Bowl, is it any wonder they want out of the BCS?

The trend among the SEC is to schedule lightly in the non-conference, after all, our own conference is just so dawg-gone tough you know.

The subplot here is the fact that when the SEC is allowed to schedule the non-BCS schools, they get extra home games, which equals extra dollars, all while playing their second and third stringers early in the third quarter.  It allows a team like LSU and Florida to play 8-to-nine home games a year. 

And what happens when the SEC actually ventures out on the road?  Generally, they lose, but the media looks right by it, acting as if it never happened. 

What?  Didn’t you know, Troy and Louisiana - Monroe are rising juggernauts?

Arkansas alum and FOX Sports analyst, Pat Summerall, told us, yet again, how special the Cotton Bowl is to the Razorbacks, after all, this is the place where the highly over-rated program won their only national championship (10-7 over Nebraska) in...1965!

Frank Broyles, the legendary and recently retired Arkansas Athletic Director, reiterated one more time how good the BCS is (amid all the controversy), and how this system has done nothing but help college football (bend over, add nauseam).

Sound familiar?  The BCS always gets it right you know!

Frank Broyles was one of the founding fathers of the College Football Association, along with Vince Dooley, Darrell Royal, Barry Switzer, Tom Osborne, Jackie Sherrill, Joe Paterno, Howard Schnellenberger and Bobby Bowden.

The cold hard reality of the BCS is that it continues to uphold the over-rated traditions for programs, like Arkansas, who reside in the South (home of the famous College Football Association - now tabbed as the BCS), because many of these same people are either still coaching or are voting in the Harris Poll.

And how did the programs that Dooley, Royal, Switzer, Osborne, Sherrill, Paterno, Schnellenberger and Bowden were associated with fare this past bowl season?  About .500 (yet, incredibly, these schools are always high among the polls), but it is considerably better than the percentage of time that the BCS has actually gotten it right in the last decade.

You should have noticed that these names are synonymous with the South, for this is the area of the country where the elite teams who were branded as elite, between 1945 and 1985, during the birth of the rising television and later burgeoning cable platform, which hold such an absurd advantage over all of college football, that we don’t need a playoff. 

We already have a playoff, remember, every game so vitally important?

The regular season was so vitally important for Oregon, since after beating Michigan by 32 points back in September, and considering they had the same record as the Wolverines (8-4), they were chartered off to El Paso, while Michigan received the Royal welcome at Disney World in Orlando.

So meaningful was every game for Missouri, like Kansas State in the past, after losing their conference championship game, they were demoted to a second tier bowl in Texas, this time the Cotton. 

The team they dominated (Kansas) 8 days prior to playing Oklahoma, yet again in the Big-12 Championship game, got the BCS call to Miami - the infamous Orange Bowl. 

What?  No Chuck Neinas connections in Missouri?  Maybe the administration needs to reevaluate their priorities and take Neinas, the Harris Poll and the Bowl executives golfing more often.  Don’t worry it’s on us, the tax paying public.

Not that  I dislike Kansas, I think they are far superior to a Virginia Tech team, who lost to the two best teams on their schedule by over 50 points, and they played in the worst of the BCS Conferences, which went two-and-six in 2007 Bowl Cup standings!

Fortunately for the Hokies, they are on the Neinas radar.

Would Missouri manhandle Hawaii in the aftermath of the Georgia debacle in the Sugar?  We would certainly think so, but Oregon would do the same as well.

Missouri was the only school this year to score more than 30 points in each and every game, and twice beat SEC members Arkansas and Mississippi, respectively, by a combined score of 76-32, scoring nearly 40 points each time they lined up against those (beep-beep) Road-Running SEC foes.

After all is said and done, wouldn’t Missouri and Oregon in the Cotton Bowl have been a better match-up?

Before the bowl season began, I touted that Oregon and Florida should have been the Capitol One Bowl participants, did I mention Oregon blitzed Michigan by 32 points earlier this season?

After watching Michigan essentially route Florida, if the heart-beat of the Michigan offense (Mike Hart) doesn’t fumble twice inside the five yard line, it would have been a massacre, either Oregon or Missouri should have  hoisted the five million dollar Capitol One Bowl trophy on New Years Day in front of a national audience!

Instead it was Michigan, who stole yet another Mountaineer coach, Rich Rodriguez several days prior.

The likely scenario is that most of America caught glimpses of the Sun Bowl this year, at opportune times during their lunch hour, since the game was played at mid-day in the middle of the work week.

What’s that...living in fantasy land you say?  Catch a clue, I’m an idiot? 

Since we are living in the real world (the current BCS model is actually a fantasy-land fraud) wouldn’t Arkansas and South Florida have been a barn-burner in El Paso? 

The score may well have been 7-7 entering the latter stages of the game, kind of like the 3-3 score between Mississippi State and Central Florida, which ended up being 10-3 in Mississippi States favor. 

I mean did you see that flabbergasting display of speed by both teams at the Liberty Bowl?  Man those SEC boys can run!

The Arkansas - South Florida score you ask?   My guess is that South Florida would have won 14-10, making an 11-year old Bulls team better than two teams from the historic 75-year old “speedy” super conference, whose grace and sportsmanship was on display so frequently this season.

Yes, the college football world will have to endure the “SEC Kool-Aid Campaign” for the next week - How in the world is Ohio State and their cement footed team going to stand a  chance of being in the same arena with LSU? 

I mean after all, Arkansas scored 50 while beating the SEC Champion Tigers, and got 7 against Big-12 runner up Missouri...whew, the Buckeyes don’t stand a chance. 

Zero - Zilch - De-Nada, “Game Over Dude!”

Did you happen to catch the early ESPN Game Day show yesterday from the Rose Bowl, where the BCS alliance was on display, led by “poster boy” Kirk Herbstreit, who laughed at the absurdity of his counter part Lee Corso’s assumption that maybe LSU is less than deserving of all the hype?

Who else are you going to put in there Lee, Herbstreit challenged? 

Lee Corso just shrugged, anyone but the Tigers, they are a fraud he bellowed. 

Actually, let’s help him out a little bit shall we?  I mean after all, he has a hard enough time reading the script and remembering his name and phone number, not to mention how to say “the Illini.”

Need a quick laugh? Consider this scenario, which isn’t far from reality.  The problem is, after researching this issue for four years, I am no longer laughing, but crying.

The part of the show that we didn’t catch on the network airwaves as they went to commercial went a little something like this?

(Herbie) I mean after all Lee, look at what LSU has to go through every year, that juggernaut of a conference. How could you disagree with me?   How could anyone survive against Mississippi State, Auburn, Florida, Arkansas or South Carolina?

(Lee) Well, now that you mention it Kirk, West Virginia, South Florida, Michigan, Missouri (twice) and Clemson didn’t seem to mind lining up against these juggernauts you uphold so highly.  

Where are they in the rankings?

Maybe we should call them “paper” juggernauts, after all, we’ve been fabricating this stuff long enough.

Are you on the take Kirk, you are looking a little suspicious in that $5000 dollar suit, and your continual harping in favor of your beloved Crimson and Grey is a bit overzealous, don’t cha think?

As a matter of fact, as I look around at all of you “high profile” alum’s (Mathews, Howard, Herbstreit), who went to these juggernaut schools we always protect, you all look a little too dapper don’t cha think?

(Herbie) Now Lee, let’s be real here dude, did you take your senility pills this morning (Corso, seen scrambling through his pockets).  Be careful, don’t mix that medication either, bro... can have nasty side affects.

My boy Purple (kind of like Blue in the movie Old School), who went (1-1) against two such paper juggernauts...paper did you say Lee...  Arkansas and Mississippi State...paper juggernauts...Purple outscored the two 89-74. 

The BCS certainly got it right Lee, both Ohio State (my home boys) and LSU (Purple Haze) are more deserving than USC, Oklahoma, or West Virginia. Don’t just take my opinion, let’s ask Eddie George over at Fox.  I’ve got two other guys I can speed dial as well (Spielman and Smith).

(Herbie) Come on now Lee, after all, it is the total resume we are evaluating isn’t it? 

(Lee) But Kirk,  both the Hogs and Rebels lost to Missouri, with the Tigers outscoring both by a whopping 76-32 margin, scoring 38 on both teams respectively.  Oklahoma beat Missouri twice and West Virginia thrashed Oklahoma, who was also thrashed by Texas Tech and have you forgotten that Colorado came back to beat’ em as well.

Of course, no other top-flight teams who finished with two, three, or even four losses could handle such “paper juggernauts” like Florida and Auburn could they Kirk?

(Fowler chimes in) 60 seconds guys till we are back on the air.  Can we clear this up guys?  Guys, its the Rose Bowl, we’ve got a massacre...uh, I mean, intriguing match-up to prepare for.

(Lee interrupting and ignoring Fowler) Manhandled... did you say Kirk... LSU defeated these two giants by a combined score of  28 - 24 and 30-24 respectively, and might I say, you look simply marvelous Kirk...is that Armani silk? 

(Herbie) As a matter of fact it is my Home Depot -Builder Dawg.  The Tigers so proved how dominant they were over these two SEC rivals that they toyed with the Gators, taunting them while jumping for joy at the news of USC’s upset to Stanford, executing 5 straight fourth down conversions, coming from 10 points down in the final quarter to win. 

Come on Lee, they were distracted, USC was ahead of them in the polls, and every time Stanford scored Les Miles couldn’t get their attention, they had one eye on the Stanford game.

Coach (Les) Miles text messaged me throughout the game, how else could I know all the play calls and when they were in the zone blitz before they actually occurred? 

He thought it was his best coaching job of the year.  It’s pretty hard to tackle when you’ve got one eye on the ball carrier and the other on the big screen (Stanford upset).

(Herbie) Now that’s a real team dude.  Not every team can keep their eye on one game across the country, and play another against a juggernaut like Florida.

Kind of like my home boys from Columbus with all the nuts on their helmets.  They keep watching Appalachian State’s victory over Michigan when their not playing Wisconsin or Penn State. 

How else can you explain the loss to Illinois?

(Fowler) 30 seconds guys...30 seconds.

(Lee) Kirk, the only nuts I know of are the few loose ones running around in your head.  This BCS thing smells like a fraud to me.

(Herbie) Come on Lee, the boys from Baton Rouge could have blown them out by 50 if they chose to do so, but the Stanford game was so intriguing...USC’s got no shot now...it created Narcolepsy, that poisonous solution, you know, causing you to sleep while standing upright.

That was the real culprit.

And furthermore Lee, the speedy Tigers were still recovering from their Narcoleptic and alcohol induced hangover that they not only fell to Kentucky...

(Lee, rolling his eyes and muttering...another SEC juggernaut who has won a whopping two bowl games in the last 30 years...aren’t they coached by Brooks who got run out at Oregon.  He had a losing record at Oregon, but now he’s the greatest coach in college football because he went 8-5 this year in the SEC)

but the poison had lingering affects a week later. 

(Fowler) 15 seconds guys...15 seconds.

That Narcolepsy is nasty stuff dude, kind of like the SEC “speed on the field” Kool-Aid we drank at last nights social. 

That stuff hangs on... it didn’t burn away until the final play against Auburn, completing a pass with seconds left to force the win as I recall. 

How else could you explain Les Miles decision not to call a time out? 

Oh Kirk, your cell phone is beeping, I thought it was mine, but “To Hell With Michigan” is not my Ring-tone. 

Hello, this is Herbie, “BCS Poster Boy and Harris Poll Consultant,” how can I help you...A potential coaching blunder you say we hear Les Miles screaming in the background?  

For the last time Kirk, I’m not going to Michigan and because of all your rumors, I’ve been Narcoleptically distracted, after all, the Michigan job was open and what I can tell you is I couldn’t tell if I was coaching Michigan or LSU, because every time I turned on the tube you said I was headed to Ann Arbor.

I had to ask my wife if this rumor was true and she sure set me straight.  She said for the last time, Les, I’ve shoveled enough snow in this lifetime to last into the next.  No thanks! 

When I finally came to my senses and figured out I was coaching LSU, it was too late to call time out.  I wouldn’t exactly call it a coaching blunder as much as a family crisis.  No matter dude, we squeezed out another one!

Lee in the background, yes, those speedy Tigers certainly dominated those mighty SEC juggernauts didn’t they (shaking his head)? 

You see Lee, Kirk says, they must be the best team in the country, without a doubt!

Who else could overcome a rampant case of Narcolepsy like that? 

(Miles) Thanks for having me on guys, I’m a little busy, but, “have a great day (tongue in cheek)...by the way, does the suit fit Kirk, it was a nice thank you from the boys at SEC headquarters.  We can’t thank you enough for all the Coaches and Harris Poll voters you influenced this year.” 

Keep up the good work.  Chuck Neinas says hello!  Would love to stay and chat but I’m a little busy with this title game preparation. 

Florida beat the Buckeyes so bad last year all I can tell you is we are not going to practice anything but track relays.

(Lee - After hanging up and seconds before they go back on the air) Oh, gee whiz, I’m sorry Kirk.  That’s a great theory, except you left out the part where four loss South Florida  beat Auburn by nearly the same margin as the Tigers, and Michigan dominated Florida, arguably by more. 

It’s kind of ironic that Oregon absolutely annihilated both South Florida and Michigan by a combined score of 95 - 28, the final outcome over South Florida (56-21) coming after losing 11 starters and playing with their 5th-string quarter back, don’t cha think?

Do you think the American public will buy it, what are we going to do?

(Fowler) 5 seconds guys...5 seconds.

(Herbie)  Don’t worry so damn much Lee, just keep smiling and throw on that Mascot head every now and then and try to get your words right...(whispering) it’s the “Illini,” not the “Iawhinnii.”

When are you breaking out the Tommy Trojan Armor?  That should give em’ a good laugh.  I can hardly contain my excitement.

(Fowler) It’s great to be back at the Rose Bowl and this Trojan team that is playing today, many people around the country believe they are the best team in American right now, of course in the SEC, the fans think a little differently....

Of course, when the show resumes, we the fans, never hear a word of this echoed by Herbie and company.  Too many million dollar handshakes by the bowl bigwigs and corporate sponsors to satisfy. 

But what these boys missed is that West Virginia is likely vastly superior to Ohio State, and since these two border states rarely schedule each other, we will never know which program is truly better on the field.

What we will hear from all the networks is how the SEC is 6-2 now during the bowl season, trailing only the Mountain West, who ended up 4-1 in the race for the bowl cup. 

What we will hear from ESPN, the BCS bowl seduced cable network, is how the USC Trojans have no argument being in the national championship, after all, they lost to 41-point underdog Stanford, and they play such a juggernaut of a schedule out in the west don’t they?

Too bad Vegas has em’ listed tops in the over-under.

The Sports Nation Ticker Tape at the bottom of the screen suddenly shows the following conversation:

LSU Nation:  What’s that?  Oklahoma you say?  Hawg-warsh, they lost twice to iddy-bitty Colorado and Texas Tech, hardly the juggernauts like Florida, Tennessee or Georgia...ooops, I forgot, we didn’t play Georgia this year.

They (Oklahoma and Georgia) obviously are not as good as Florida or Auburn either.  What’s that you say...Oh God, they (Georgia) bushwhacked both of em?

BCS Busters:  What those fast-talking Bowl Alliance sales folk from the southern states fail to tell us is that the SEC was a marginal 7-7 versus other BCS schools during the regular season, which they narrowly improved to 4-2 during the bowl season, giving the SEC a clearly superior 11-9 advantage over the other BCS conference counter-parts. 

SEC Nation:  What’s that you say...the PAC-10 Conference was 3-1 against the other BCS boys as well this bowl season, and when combined with their regular season total of 6-4, it clearly gives the PAC-10 (9-5) the best BCS Conference vs BCS Conference winning percentage (.643)? 

SEC Nation: We (SEC) clearly had the advantage all season, doesn’t four-and-two (.666 win percentage) sound much better than that dad-gum three-and-one

(.750 win percentage)?

What kind of new math tricks are you boys from the left coast trying to pull on us now?  Sounds like another AP Poll conspiracy.  You just don’t understand the passion and influence college football has on our economy out here.  What’s the name of that stadium out there you folks always claim is so loud...Fartzen?

LSU Nation: Did I remind you that we beat Auburn, Florida and Virginia Tech this year?  After all, you can’t expect us to be at our best when playing Kentucky and Arkansas can you, these are some dad-gum, tradition rich, good teams are they not?  By the time we got around to playing the Cats and Hogs, our kids were all banged up...Didn’t you see the hittin’ in the LSU-Florida game?

BCS Busters: That Kentucky team who struggled mightily with that Florida State team (who beat Alabama by the way), who was missing nearly half its players in the Music City Bowl, is the same Wildcat team who needed a blue-grass miracle via a “You’ve got to be  kidding me secondary coverage snafu,” to beat a 6-6 Louisville team... the same Louisville team who was blown out by both South Florida and Utah...the same Utah and South Florida teams who were blown out by Oregon and Oregon State respectively. 

You mean that Kentucky team?  The same team who has our old coach who had a losing record over the course of his career in the PAC-10?

SEC Nation:  But we can’t use the transitive property theory when comparing opponents scores during the 2007 season, we have to consider the entire season as a whole, the complete resume as they say, not to mention the 30-50 year social economic status in the game, to determine the bowl match-ups. 

This isn’t connect the dots.  It’s the whole season, that’s the thing that runs in the SEC’s favor, not to mention the speed on the field, the number of fannies in the stadium and the fact that we raid every national championship coach who’s on the radar. 

Rumor has it that Mississippi wants to fire Houston Nutt and hire Bill Stewart.  Houston can’t seem to quit text messaging all the pretty secretaries and the girls at Delta-Delta-Delta.  They tried to get Rick Neuheisel but he threatened to sue the NCAA and the BCS because it’s only a playoff for about 15 teams and 12 of them reside in our conference.

LSU Nation:  After all, how can a man like Tom Junker, the Chief Operating Officer of the Fiesta Bowl, rake in his half a million (tax exempt) dollars when aligning the juggernauts (by being party to the Chuck Neinas, CFA and BCS alliance) if we actually connected the dots and made sense of this convoluted system?

SEC Nation: We are talking simple bowl economics here.  People back in this neck of the woods simply won’t watch Florida and Oregon play in a bowl game.  We want Florida - Michigan, Clemson - Auburn, Wisconsin - Tennessee, and Ohio State - LSU.   

We don’t want to watch USC, all they do is steal our in-state players by paying them absurd amounts of money.  You’d never see anything like that at Alabama or Tennessee, and even if we did start paying players, we couldn’t afford it, we’ve got too many network analysts to payoff.  Have you seen Herbies suit?  I hear Desmond is looking top shelf today as well - A gift from our conference commissioner Slive.

LSU Nation:  How do you think we dominate the polls? Do you think all of these poll voters can actually watch ALL of the games? 

They’d have to stay up until 3 am to watch USC or Oregon play and by that time people out here are either so darn drunk from a full day of tailgating, having relations with their next door neighbor, or fast asleep. 

We have to watch ESPN Game Day to evaluate all the games.

SEC Nation:  Our economy is dependent on it.  You folks have enough Micro-Beer, Microsoft and Nike “swoosh” money anyway.  What the heck else do want, you folks have got the Olympic Trials coming this summer, be happy with what the good Lord gives ya’. 

LSU Nation:  Amen, Amen, Amen.

SEC Nation: Oregon State aught to be happy with that Emerald Bowl, that offense looks like...looks like...well...Alabama’s for creeps-sake.  Give it a rest bro.

ESPN Ticker Tape:  (See the FOUR - PART - SPECIAL - REPORT from the Orange County Register). 

SEC Nation:  I mean after all, how can the bowl officers and college football administrators keep taking advantage of the young men who play the game, with all these rules standing in the way? 

LSU Nation:  Not to mention the ways of the south, taking the tax paying - ticket hungry public to the showers, by waddling through this billion dollar largess.

If we keep living in the real world with all these facts and rules, do you really want to see West Virginia and Oregon in the national championship?

If we keep comparing all of these scores and the pollsters actually watch the games that’s exactly where we are headed bucko! 

Quit trying to educate me on the BCS, there’s too much learning going on in the world anyway.  All it does is screw up the minds of these young athletes anyway.  All they need to know is the snap count and run like the wind when you hear the words hut..hut..go!

SEC Nation:  It’s just like what Lou Holtz says, quit confusing me with all of them dad-gum facts, you’re going to blow up my brain.  No wonder I hated school and quit after the 10th grade for gosh sakes.  Just Git-R-Done is our motto, now giddy-up, the Dukes of Hazard is on the tube.

ESPN Ticker Tape:  According to Tom Junker, as quoted within the Orange County Register article, written by Scott Reid:

"I've been getting a lot of calls from people at all levels of college football these past weeks," Junker said, "and they are all strongly, strongly, strongly behind the current bowl system."

BCS Busters:  Isn’t the controversy great for college football and those southern fried, fast talking, speedy- footed southern folk, who have “oil,” “tobacco,” “alcohol” and “cotton picking” corporate advertising interests to protect?  

That is, as long as they get to keep running by those slow footed, concrete sized, Big-10 folk who have the “steel” and “automotive” industries, as well as  40% of the television market to protect.

Big-12 Nation:  Hell, we can always blame it on the Rose Bowl anyway - “Tradition is Tradition” - which equals horse power to the bowl committee’s and network television, now giddy-up you son-of-a-gun, I’ve got business to attend to, there showing the Houston - TCU and Mississippi State - UCF re-run on ESPN Classic and my Gumbo and Crawfish are burning on the grill. 

BCS Busters:   Is there a Hertz sponsor in the building?

Plus, Todd Blackledge is doing a story on my home made recipe.  We make everything bigger in Texas, even the stories about our football teams and our dining recipes are bigger and better. 

Don’t mess with Texas and leave the dad-gum BCS just the way it is.  We’ve spent a fortune already trying to get Congress to buy in and look the other way with all of our tax exemptions.  I’d hate to see all that effort go to waste.  The whole darn mess gives me nothing but heart burn anyway.

Back to reality, or the reality show called “AS THE BCS TURNS.”

Pete Carroll, who is the best coach in the country, for his BCS bowl record now stands at 6-1, has yet to tie this BCS thing together...he doesn’t worry about the BCS because he doesn’t understand it!

There’s an oxymoron for you.  The best coach in the country who understands recruiting, player development, and offensive and defensive game planning better than any other coach in the country, doesn’t understand this convoluted system where every game is just so meaningful - a playoff in itself.

After all , there’s just too many southern fried juggernauts to figure this thing out.  A playoff would destroy all the controversy...I mean fun. 

So Pete, this one’s for you and the other members of the USC Trojans, who once again, are the best team in the country from the Pathetic-10.  It is time for you, Pete Carroll,  to understand the true motives behind the BCS and College Football Association movements.

The next time you hear the words “SEC Speed Kills,” replace that slogan with the “College Football Association Kills” as the same people who both formed and framed this movement are the people supporting a “Tom Junker-filled” bowl empire. 

Those people calling Tom to thank, encourage, uphold and continue the bowl system?  They are the same people who formed this monopoly in the first place!

This hidden bowl alliance is what is killing college football and continuing to sour the ethical compass of the sport in the meantime.   The controversy over the BCS is nothing but a smoke screen to throw people off of the real gravy train it protects.

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